Mexico doesn't win Olympic medals because all the best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.
Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Shoot the people pushing it.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A: Juan on Juan.
Q: What do you call stoned Mexicans? A: Baked beans.
A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico. The Mexican says, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!”
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was made in China.
Q: What's the difference between England and a teabag? A: A teabag could stay in the cup for longer.
Q: What do you call a baptized Mexican? A: Bean dip.
So two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: "You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They'll rob you blind. Don't you go paying them what they ask. You haggle." At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, "That'll be twenty dollars, lads." "Oh no you don't! My dad warned me about you. You'll only be getting fifteen dollars from me," says one of the men. "And you'll only be getting fifteen from me too," adds the other.